The Cowboy was once a symbol of freedom, a uniquely American icon. He wore his guns with pride, he said "thank you, ma'am", he prayed before supper, he rolled his own smokes, and if anyone would dare tell him he couldn't, well, "them's fightin' words!"
When we were kids, we all wanted to be one. We wore little cowboy outfits, we said "howdy, pardner", we rode the pony machine outside the A&P store, we went to the Saturday matinees and we cheered when the good guys in the white hats shot the bad guys in the black hats - saving the town and winning the gal.
What the hell happened to us? When did we start hating the good guys? When did we become the nation that cheers for that fat guy in the paisley vest, the slimy lawyer that forged the deed, the crooked judge who ignored the law, and the sneering tax man who foreclosed on the orphanage?
Wisconsin's Department of Revenue apparently has enough excess cube monkeys on its payroll to waste our money closing down stores that sell loose tobacco and provide the machines for people to roll their own cigarettes. I don't smoke myself, but I understand these Roll Your Own (RYO) stores have become pretty popular since the government taxed the bejesus out of manufactured cigarettes. To quote that great economist Gomer Pyle, “surprise, surprise, surprise!”
The owners of these small businesses earn their own way, employ other people, pay a boatload of taxes, and sell a legal product to adults who want to buy it with money they earned themselves. That is called liberty; it drives some people nuts.
One such driven group calls itself Smoke Free Wisconsin, who has nothing but praise for Governor Scott Walker's ham-fisted RYO crackdown. These are the same folks who led the drive to ban smoking on private property. There should be an injunction against them using the word "free"; real liberty lovers would insert one more little word to get our priorities straight: Smoke [in] Free Wisconsin.
Where is the outrage from the left over the RYO beat-down? Rich people can afford to buy manufactured cigarettes and pay all that tax; it is the poor and middle class who roll their own at these locally-owned stores. Why aren't you Madison moonbats drumming on Walker about taxing the poor and hammering small businesses? And aren't you guys supposed to be pro-choice, or does a woman only own her body while a second life shares it?
I have no idea what the Governor was thinking, but it's stupid crap like this that turns Republicans into Libertarians. He may want to take a mulligan with another recall season just around the corner, but hey - I’m not the coach of their team.
Look, if someone wants to smoke that is their business; I am not threatened by their choice. The real danger to the public is not smokers or RYO stores, it is allowing ourselves to be ruled by self-righteous prigs with so many sticks up their butts they fart sawdust.
We are not safe from the Sawdust People when they are awake, so I say coffee is a public health hazard, too. Let's tax the snot out of it; make it a dollar for each word it takes to order a cup of the stuff at Snob-bucks. Extra grande fair-trade iced minty whipped mocha mocha latte? Ten bucks tax - welcome to Marlboro country, Tiffany.
That’s it - tax Big Coffee and then send out the goons from DOR to start shutting down all those brew-your-own, tax-evading sons of bitches with their subversive don't-tread-on-me Mr. Coffee machines. Make them pay fines and permit fees and buy licenses and keep bleeding them until they die. Start with the quickie oil change joints; theirs are the most disgusting, anyway. Then roust the mom-and-pop motels, the real estate agencies, the hair salons, the bridal shops and work your way up to the Indian casinos.
On second thought, why not start with the Indian casinos, and why not start tomorrow? Forget the free coffee - why do those rich guys get to smoke, give away tax-free drinks, gamble, and sell untaxed cigarettes in their businesses while the State is stomping down the tiny RYO stores for doing none of the above? And don't say respect for their traditional way of life unless you think "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding" is some kind of sacred rain chant that makes prairie grass grow to fatten the buffalo. They bought their privilege with campaign cash and it was the last Governor, not this one, who sold us out to get re-elected.
Here's a radical idea - how about our government respect everyone's way of life, including the poor working stiffs who feel like rolling a smoke after putting in a double shift? And how about we let the Constitution tell the government what to do instead of letting the Sawdust People tell the government what to do to us?
And before you uber-caring heart-bleeders start thumb-typing your anonymous comments wishing me a fatal disease because I dared to defend smokers' rights, don't waste your time. I've lost as many family members to cancer as anyone, but I won’t force everyone else to suffer for my loss, ok? I cry on my own time.
The phrase "roll your own" is a slang expression meaning to do something your own way; and doing things your own way is what liberty is all about. It is not about forcing someone else to conform to your idea of a proper lifestyle - that is called tyranny. Crushing those little RYO entrepreneurs is a fitting symbol of government over-reach; it is do-gooder tyranny, the most insidious kind, the easiest to ignore.
So go ahead and look the other way while the brutes shake down the RYO industry and throw even more people out of work. But when you brew that next cup of java at home on your own subversive Mr. Coffee, just remember that someone somewhere in the Department of Revenue is reading this post and thinking, "hmmmmm...coffee tax...now there's an interesting idea."
Maybe then you will understand why we libertarians keep fussing over silly things like the Fourth amendment...and why we thank our Founding Fathers for the Second. If you do too, support your RYO entrepreneurs and share this post with your friends.
“Moment Of Clarity” is a weekly commentary by Libertarian writer and speaker Tim Nerenz, Ph.D. Visit Tim’s website www.timnerenz.com to find your moment.
When we were kids, we all wanted to be one. We wore little cowboy outfits, we said "howdy, pardner", we rode the pony machine outside the A&P store, we went to the Saturday matinees and we cheered when the good guys in the white hats shot the bad guys in the black hats - saving the town and winning the gal.
What the hell happened to us? When did we start hating the good guys? When did we become the nation that cheers for that fat guy in the paisley vest, the slimy lawyer that forged the deed, the crooked judge who ignored the law, and the sneering tax man who foreclosed on the orphanage?
Wisconsin's Department of Revenue apparently has enough excess cube monkeys on its payroll to waste our money closing down stores that sell loose tobacco and provide the machines for people to roll their own cigarettes. I don't smoke myself, but I understand these Roll Your Own (RYO) stores have become pretty popular since the government taxed the bejesus out of manufactured cigarettes. To quote that great economist Gomer Pyle, “surprise, surprise, surprise!”
The owners of these small businesses earn their own way, employ other people, pay a boatload of taxes, and sell a legal product to adults who want to buy it with money they earned themselves. That is called liberty; it drives some people nuts.
One such driven group calls itself Smoke Free Wisconsin, who has nothing but praise for Governor Scott Walker's ham-fisted RYO crackdown. These are the same folks who led the drive to ban smoking on private property. There should be an injunction against them using the word "free"; real liberty lovers would insert one more little word to get our priorities straight: Smoke [in] Free Wisconsin.
Where is the outrage from the left over the RYO beat-down? Rich people can afford to buy manufactured cigarettes and pay all that tax; it is the poor and middle class who roll their own at these locally-owned stores. Why aren't you Madison moonbats drumming on Walker about taxing the poor and hammering small businesses? And aren't you guys supposed to be pro-choice, or does a woman only own her body while a second life shares it?
I have no idea what the Governor was thinking, but it's stupid crap like this that turns Republicans into Libertarians. He may want to take a mulligan with another recall season just around the corner, but hey - I’m not the coach of their team.
Look, if someone wants to smoke that is their business; I am not threatened by their choice. The real danger to the public is not smokers or RYO stores, it is allowing ourselves to be ruled by self-righteous prigs with so many sticks up their butts they fart sawdust.
We are not safe from the Sawdust People when they are awake, so I say coffee is a public health hazard, too. Let's tax the snot out of it; make it a dollar for each word it takes to order a cup of the stuff at Snob-bucks. Extra grande fair-trade iced minty whipped mocha mocha latte? Ten bucks tax - welcome to Marlboro country, Tiffany.
That’s it - tax Big Coffee and then send out the goons from DOR to start shutting down all those brew-your-own, tax-evading sons of bitches with their subversive don't-tread-on-me Mr. Coffee machines. Make them pay fines and permit fees and buy licenses and keep bleeding them until they die. Start with the quickie oil change joints; theirs are the most disgusting, anyway. Then roust the mom-and-pop motels, the real estate agencies, the hair salons, the bridal shops and work your way up to the Indian casinos.
On second thought, why not start with the Indian casinos, and why not start tomorrow? Forget the free coffee - why do those rich guys get to smoke, give away tax-free drinks, gamble, and sell untaxed cigarettes in their businesses while the State is stomping down the tiny RYO stores for doing none of the above? And don't say respect for their traditional way of life unless you think "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding" is some kind of sacred rain chant that makes prairie grass grow to fatten the buffalo. They bought their privilege with campaign cash and it was the last Governor, not this one, who sold us out to get re-elected.
Here's a radical idea - how about our government respect everyone's way of life, including the poor working stiffs who feel like rolling a smoke after putting in a double shift? And how about we let the Constitution tell the government what to do instead of letting the Sawdust People tell the government what to do to us?
And before you uber-caring heart-bleeders start thumb-typing your anonymous comments wishing me a fatal disease because I dared to defend smokers' rights, don't waste your time. I've lost as many family members to cancer as anyone, but I won’t force everyone else to suffer for my loss, ok? I cry on my own time.
The phrase "roll your own" is a slang expression meaning to do something your own way; and doing things your own way is what liberty is all about. It is not about forcing someone else to conform to your idea of a proper lifestyle - that is called tyranny. Crushing those little RYO entrepreneurs is a fitting symbol of government over-reach; it is do-gooder tyranny, the most insidious kind, the easiest to ignore.
So go ahead and look the other way while the brutes shake down the RYO industry and throw even more people out of work. But when you brew that next cup of java at home on your own subversive Mr. Coffee, just remember that someone somewhere in the Department of Revenue is reading this post and thinking, "hmmmmm...coffee tax...now there's an interesting idea."
Maybe then you will understand why we libertarians keep fussing over silly things like the Fourth amendment...and why we thank our Founding Fathers for the Second. If you do too, support your RYO entrepreneurs and share this post with your friends.
“Moment Of Clarity” is a weekly commentary by Libertarian writer and speaker Tim Nerenz, Ph.D. Visit Tim’s website www.timnerenz.com to find your moment.
