Crank up the Tammy Wynette, the Congressional Super Committee on deficit reduction failed. Irreconcilable differences, I think they call it.
Like an estranged married couple enduring court-ordered counseling because they had to, the Republicans and Democrats recited their irreconcilable differences, whined about how hard they tried to go the extra mile, and blamed each other for the breakup. For those of you who find the language of fiscal negotiations incomprehensible, let me translate for you.
The Democrat position: “he is an uncaring cheapskate sonofabitch who doesn’t care about me or the kids or anything but himself and that goddamn stock portfolio. I gave up everything for this family and now that my looks are gone he wants to cut me off? Fat chance, a-hole.”
The Republican position: “that frigid bitch spends all day eating bon-bons and running up the credit cards on stuff we can’t afford to impress her European friends. I work my ass off and she spends twice whatever I make on implants and Jimmy Choos. I’m cutting my losses.”
It’s a little more complicated than that, but not much. We independents are like the kids watching mommy and daddy rip each others guts out; hoping against hope that they really love us, even when we know they are fighting for custody just to get the alimony and child support. We hate ‘em both, and would like to just move in with the neighbors next door who have a pool.
Our Counselor-In-Chief was a no-help making this bad marriage work, as usual. He didn’t even come to a single session, just yelled at everybody and called the whole family lazy, as if it wasn’t HIS family, but let’s not start that whole birther thing up again now that we finally got Trump off TV. The President got his teleprompter replaced just in time to tell us it was all the Republicans fault; sort of like having Gloria Allred decide who’s telling the truth about Herman Cain.
This whole Super Committee thing was stupid from the start. Thank God it failed; maybe now we won’t be tempted to try something so idiotic ever again. They preened and postured and pretended and in the end, kicked the can down the road. No surprise there; that isn’t dysfunction in Washington, it is political science. That is how they roll, it’s what they do.
There is no Constitutional authority for such a monstrosity as a Super Committee, and let’s be honest – those were not the 12 smartest folks out of the pool of 535. The Super Committee as more like an expanded Village People; dressed up caricatures to entertain us with some predictable shtick and a bit of narrative in between songs – I expected John Kerry to break into “In The Navy” at any moment.
Actually, I don’t consider it a failure that they couldn’t agree on anything – not even how to end their silly charade. Because they couldn’t get their job done, spending will supposedly get cut by $1.2 trillion; that is $1.2 trillion more than anybody else has come up with. Failure is when these ninnies actually pass something – like Obamacare, for example; that is when the system lets us down. Because 9 times out of 10 what they pass is unconstitutional, and the tenth time it’s bad policy.
C’mon. Does anyone seriously believe that any of these “automatic cuts” will ever happen? They don’t kick in until after the next election, so a new Congress, one that is not bound by what this one pretended to do, will meet to decide which of the dozens of tunnels and ladders left for them in the debt ceiling bill to use to breach the “firewall of austerity”.
We all know this: Mommy and Daddy are never going to work it out. They both want to be married to somebody else – anybody else. Us kids have fended for ourselves long enough that frankly we don’t care if we never see either one of them again. I don’t want to go to the circus anymore on Dad’s weekend and Mom’s home cooking tastes a lot like last week’s KFC microwaved. Don’t bother.
But here is a practical solution to the budget stalemate, if anyone cares anymore. Start with this: we have been taxed enough, and you don’t get anymore taxes from the people who already pay them. Argue over how to spend it; that is the role of Congress in our system. If you want to spend more, then get the money from well-head taxes on new oil production and pipeline fees on the one they want to bring down from Canada.
You want to spend more? Fine – then give us cheap gas. You don’t want us to have cheap gas and energy independence? Fine – then cut spending and go sequester yourself. Let us know what you decide.
“Moment Of Clarity” is a weekly commentary by Libertarian writer and speaker Tim Nerenz, Ph.D. Visit Tim’s website www.timnerenz.com to find your moment.
Like an estranged married couple enduring court-ordered counseling because they had to, the Republicans and Democrats recited their irreconcilable differences, whined about how hard they tried to go the extra mile, and blamed each other for the breakup. For those of you who find the language of fiscal negotiations incomprehensible, let me translate for you.
The Democrat position: “he is an uncaring cheapskate sonofabitch who doesn’t care about me or the kids or anything but himself and that goddamn stock portfolio. I gave up everything for this family and now that my looks are gone he wants to cut me off? Fat chance, a-hole.”
The Republican position: “that frigid bitch spends all day eating bon-bons and running up the credit cards on stuff we can’t afford to impress her European friends. I work my ass off and she spends twice whatever I make on implants and Jimmy Choos. I’m cutting my losses.”
It’s a little more complicated than that, but not much. We independents are like the kids watching mommy and daddy rip each others guts out; hoping against hope that they really love us, even when we know they are fighting for custody just to get the alimony and child support. We hate ‘em both, and would like to just move in with the neighbors next door who have a pool.
Our Counselor-In-Chief was a no-help making this bad marriage work, as usual. He didn’t even come to a single session, just yelled at everybody and called the whole family lazy, as if it wasn’t HIS family, but let’s not start that whole birther thing up again now that we finally got Trump off TV. The President got his teleprompter replaced just in time to tell us it was all the Republicans fault; sort of like having Gloria Allred decide who’s telling the truth about Herman Cain.
This whole Super Committee thing was stupid from the start. Thank God it failed; maybe now we won’t be tempted to try something so idiotic ever again. They preened and postured and pretended and in the end, kicked the can down the road. No surprise there; that isn’t dysfunction in Washington, it is political science. That is how they roll, it’s what they do.
There is no Constitutional authority for such a monstrosity as a Super Committee, and let’s be honest – those were not the 12 smartest folks out of the pool of 535. The Super Committee as more like an expanded Village People; dressed up caricatures to entertain us with some predictable shtick and a bit of narrative in between songs – I expected John Kerry to break into “In The Navy” at any moment.
Actually, I don’t consider it a failure that they couldn’t agree on anything – not even how to end their silly charade. Because they couldn’t get their job done, spending will supposedly get cut by $1.2 trillion; that is $1.2 trillion more than anybody else has come up with. Failure is when these ninnies actually pass something – like Obamacare, for example; that is when the system lets us down. Because 9 times out of 10 what they pass is unconstitutional, and the tenth time it’s bad policy.
C’mon. Does anyone seriously believe that any of these “automatic cuts” will ever happen? They don’t kick in until after the next election, so a new Congress, one that is not bound by what this one pretended to do, will meet to decide which of the dozens of tunnels and ladders left for them in the debt ceiling bill to use to breach the “firewall of austerity”.
We all know this: Mommy and Daddy are never going to work it out. They both want to be married to somebody else – anybody else. Us kids have fended for ourselves long enough that frankly we don’t care if we never see either one of them again. I don’t want to go to the circus anymore on Dad’s weekend and Mom’s home cooking tastes a lot like last week’s KFC microwaved. Don’t bother.
But here is a practical solution to the budget stalemate, if anyone cares anymore. Start with this: we have been taxed enough, and you don’t get anymore taxes from the people who already pay them. Argue over how to spend it; that is the role of Congress in our system. If you want to spend more, then get the money from well-head taxes on new oil production and pipeline fees on the one they want to bring down from Canada.
You want to spend more? Fine – then give us cheap gas. You don’t want us to have cheap gas and energy independence? Fine – then cut spending and go sequester yourself. Let us know what you decide.
“Moment Of Clarity” is a weekly commentary by Libertarian writer and speaker Tim Nerenz, Ph.D. Visit Tim’s website www.timnerenz.com to find your moment.
