I Have A Dream

Remember these from school?  “Ask not what your country can do for you; demand it.”  “The only thing to fear is buying our own stuff.”  “Give me liberty or give me free stuff.”  “One if by land, two if by sea; get off that horse and buy my stuff for me.”

And who can forget, “I have a dream…where you have to give me stuff.”

What in the world has happened to us?  How did we go from Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King to some 30 year-old still-a-student from Georgetown going on national TV to demand more government because she can’t figure out how to keep from getting knocked up on her own dime? 

President Obama – our President Obama - called to congratulate her for that and tell her she represents all women.  Really?  All women?  How about it, ladies – are all of you spending your days getting drilled by losers who can’t afford their own condoms and then bragging about it under oath on CSPAN?  Has your liberation from men left you that completely helpless? 

I don’t think she represents very many women at all; most that I know are proud of their independence and character.  Sometimes politicians say things so incredibly stupid we wonder how they managed to ever get elected...and then other times they sleep.

But you know what?  This whole free contraception thing is the straw that broke the camel’s back.  I am tired of pushing the rock up the hill – I’m throwing in with the gimmee-gimmee crowd.  Kennedy didn’t know squat, Henry was a flake, Jefferson had it all wrong, and Dr. King must have been some selfish, racist, libertarian with that stupid dream that every individual should be judged by the content of their character.  Screw that.

I have a better dream.  I have a dream that you buy your stuff for you and then you buy my stuff for me.  That’s equality, right there.  Whatever I want and just because I want it.  Food, housing, day care, abortions, contraception, train rides, a job, pension, health care, a Volt, college, flat-out cash.  The way it works is you give me the stuff I need so I can use my own money to buy the stuff I want – Spring Break in Cancun, iTunes, tattoos.  You even have to buy my Ambien so I can dream my dream.  

I have another dream where you taxpaying welders have to pay for my college as long as I want to keep going, and then I will whine and bitch about my student loans for years until you write them off. And then I will whine and bitch some more because you won’t hire me with my useless degree and pathetic attitude.  If that doesn’t work, I’ll sue you.  Or boycott, or occupy, or break your glass or light your stuff on fire. 

I don’t need a reason.  You owe me, because I breathe.  I have a dream…

In my new dream you have to hire me and then you can’t fire me, and I get sick days and vacation days and holidays and union conferences off, and call-in days, and I can watch porn on school computers and if you fire me for that I get reinstated with back pay.  I have a dream…where I can retire early, draw a pension and then get paid again to go back to work at the same job. 

How about this one:  “We hold this truth to be self-evident - I get my way.” 

If my guy doesn’t win an election we get to recall the guy who did, and you have to pay for it.  I decide my pay and benefits and you pay.  I get to tell you what to do and you do it.  In my dream I can stop you from mining on your own land, from owning your own guns, selling your own milk, and growing your own food.   We’re all in this together – I say and you do. 

I have a dream that I decide how much profit you can make and how much of your own money you get to keep.  I have a dream where you have to join my union and dues get taken out your check before the IRS even gets their bite of the apple. I have a dream where you don’t have squat to say about it.  Shut up, bitch – this is what democracy looks like.  That’s how I sound in my dream - street.   

I have a dream where it is a disability to be me, so now I get to park up front and get even more free stuff than if I was a just a regular broke-dick. I want that ID card where you have to give me medical marijuana and King Crimson CD’s.  I have a dream…  [Alarm goes off and I wake all sweaty and heart-pounding] 

Wow, that was some nightmare; too bad we are living in it.   Do you know the difference between shame and Beetlejuice?  If you say Beetlejuice three times, he shows up.  The Wisconsin lefty protestors have proven you can chant “shame shame shame” until the cows come home or flee to Illinois and it won’t instill any in you. 

This Georgetown woman did her own shameful three-way; turns out she is not 23, is not a real student, and is a serial testifier – a 30 year-old “activist” fabricated for the cameras by the marketing department over at Democrat Victimhood, Inc.  Wham, bam, thanks for the sound bite, ma’am.  The party of women creates a new national Lewinsky to humiliate, and the shameless left cheers her on. Cheeky.  

The worst thing about his whole incident is that we now know what kind of dipstick gets into law school these days; we can look forward to decades of her suing us because her watch stopped, or the Fox station airs Seinfeld re-runs when she likes to tan, or brunettes earn more than blondes, or guys don’t need tampons, or they play hockey in the South.  Who knows what craving for attention will trigger another seizure?     

At age 40 she will be up on the Hill testifying about why we need to buy her a tummy tuck and liposuction, and at age 50, it will be breast augmentation and collagen implants.  At 60 we will start medicating her libido back into action and 70 she will be hounding us to buy the hubby’s dinger pills and call dermabrasion health care and make us pay for it.  By then she will have some money and have turned Republican.  It won’t matter; they both want free stuff. 

At a panel on nationalizing health care in 2009, I warned the greatest danger of a government-run system was the politicization of illness, disease, and treatment. Equating avoidance of a voluntary condition (pregnancy) with prevention of a disease in order to mandate contraceptive coverage without compensation is just the tip of the iceberg of what we can expect each election year when the pols are trolling for votes in the highly-contested moron community.    

When your health care costs go up and your employer drops your coverage, you can’t say that you weren’t warned.  While this young lady was reading her lines over at Nancy Pelosi’s Theatre of the Absurd, the real news was being made by HHS Secretary Sebelius, who gloated that the insurance industry was in a “death spiral” and promising us straight-faced that mandating coverage without compensation had nothing to do with it. 

No doubt the frisky coeds over at Georgetown Law School believed every word of it.  

“Moment Of Clarity” is a weekly commentary by Libertarian writer and speaker Tim Nerenz, Ph.D.  Visit Tim’s website www.timnerenz.com to find your moment and order Tim’s new book, “BRING IT!”